A Preference Kind of Thing
"Do you prefer coffee or tea? "
I find that question so difficult to answer. You know why? Because I was never a coffee or a tea person.But I find that the people asking you need an answer. Most often than not, I answer hot choco and they would give me a weird look and then I would stutter.. milk then? Then I get a smile or a laugh from these people. They think I am being very funny. So I usually go for coffee.
The problem with me drinking coffee is that I coudn't get sleep at night. Yeah, I lose sleep because of coffee. You would think I am being very funny but seriously it happens to me. The only time I would willingly drink coffee is when I feel happy. I find that having caffeine in my system makes my happiness stay longer. Crazy, right? Well, ok it is crazy.
Speaking of crazy, I think I have been being very crazy these days. I really don't like going to the beach because I am not so fond of it. I can't swim very well and I usually get cramps when I stay in the water for long. A few weeks ago, a friend convinced... no ..coerced me to go on a trip to the most famous Krabi Island. This is like a summer paradise in Thailand. I always wanted to go on a roadtrip so I went.
The moment we got there, I only saw a a gloomy sea with brown sands. So I thought, how could people talk about how beautiful Krabi is. The scene that stood before me was nothing close to word "beautiful" unless the meaning of such word changed overnight( hehe.. working on my sarcasm here!) . Well, I still enjoyed walking on the sand and savoured the cool breezes as they touched my skin.
The real surprise came the next day. We had an island hopping activity. When we arrived on the first island, I couldn't believe how beautiful the white sands were and the island rock formations put me in awe! Right there and then, I fell in love with such sight. I loved the sands, sun, blue waters and the tranquility radiating from such beauty. I was so grateful I was able to see such wonderful sight. i didn't regret I did come after all... Call me OA but those were the thoughts that get stuck in my head everytime the word Krabi is mentioned nowadays.You could ask me if I would prefer the beach or the mountain.. and I bet you would know what would I say in response. :)
My preferences changed the way I don't like them to. As they changed, my life dramatically changed too. Since I tend to be keen on coffee nowadays, the guy who would ask me for coffee would be considered a dateable guy. If he mentions how he loves the beach, I would think I would like to hang out with him more. I know that those things shouldn't tantamount to the importance of knowing someone in a deeper level but I guess, better start at something, right?
Well, the topic of "men" seriously makes me very uncertain of everything I know about them. I mean how do you exactly categorize them? I mean how would you answer the question, " Do you prefer a cool guy or a nice guy?" I would think it is a trick question. No? ! Then if you could answer it without frowning then I surely will salute you. Because I could never answer that. It is like asking me what is the most beautiful color --- white or black? They aren't even colors as Science says.
I don't have a certain preference when it comes to men. I don't set standards or a checklist. When I do meet them, I just decide if I like them based on how I feel when I am around them. But then again, I know I might be really terrible at letting some know that I don't like them. I mean, I don't know how to be rude or be open about my feelings the first time i meet someone. So basically, I can almost pretend I enjoy their company even when my mind is shouting for "time out!!". lol.. yeah..My mind whistles so loud but I am trying to ignore it and do my best to show them I am never bored with my most beautiful jaw hurting smiles.
What is the type of guy I prefer? I didn't have a type of guy I prefer until I met this one guy. He is the second person who can read me. He made me nervous because he understood me. No matter how I tried to hide what I really felt, he knew what I was trying to say. Where I put words to fill the emptiness and to bridge the gap, the solitude of his silence filled those emptiness. He is not the nice guy next door who would greet you good morning because most mornings he would still be in bed and if by chance he is out to pick his mails at that time, be strong because he will ignore you. He would not kiss you in the mornings because he would still be too sleepy. He wouldn't have second thoughts to correct you. He is one capable of tough love.
I grew up independently ever since I was in third grade. So, I prefer doing things the way I want them to be. I would not want anyone to tell me what I am doing wrong and how to do them right. Basically, I am a stubborn person but this guy, he would be able to cut my corners and smooth them out into a curve and he could soften my rough edges. I haven't found anyone who could do them to me, well until I met him.
The sad thing about preferring this guy over anyone is that he doesn't even feel the same way I feel for him. To succumb to this kind of situation is like admitting defeat in a battle you never tried fighting. So , I tried to reach out but he ignored me. I prefer not to dwell on this kind of sad situation so I make a lot of effort to move on.
The hardest part of moving on is the more you condition yourself to do it, the more your thoughts will drift towards him . As I walk amidst the crowd trying so hard to be lost in my inner world, I would get a whiff of someone who has a similar scent as him. How do I forget that scent? The first time I smelled it on him, a picture of racing waves disturbing the tranquility of the sea on a winter day, was all that's in my head the entire time he sat next to me.
I know it is an expensive scent, but I am sure it has more to do with his pheromones. I haven't even noticed how good looking he was. All I needed to hold on to him was how good he smelled. Luckily, he was as good looking as he smelled great. What I really liked about him is that he was too good to be true. He was the kind I only read in books.
Why a picture of me on the beach? Well, I prefer the guy who could make me feel that life should be carefree like the feeling you get when you go on the beach. I get adrenaline rush when I set foot on the beach. I would also prefer that guy who smells so great that he would remind me of how beautiful late night walks by the beach is.
How about you? What are your preferences when it comes to drinks? Where would you rather have your next vacation? Which guy or girl would you prefer? Whatever you wanna drink, wherever you wanna go and whoever you wanna be with, I hope that you would find comfort and happiness in them.